Things I Learned at the Movies….

For a guy who’s out there on the dating scene, it can be hard to figure out just how to “be a man”. It’s certainly tough times, what with us double-y-chromosomed persons trying to both be sensitive and masculine at the same time. Why not ask Hollywood, that producer of dreams and desires?

Here are some films that look at the issue of being men in the modern world. While we don’t advise basing your life on a fictional character – even an ultra-cool one – they can often tell you something about yourself.

Dr. No – or just use any one of Sean Connery’s 007 flicks. He is the epitome of the “alpha” male, but ultra-sophisticated at the same time. Watch Bond tease the sultry Honey Ryder and learn how it’s done, but remind yourself that no woman is that dumb in real life.

Say Anything – he’s brooding, a smart-aleck, and far from having his act together, but John Cusack’s Lloyd Dobler still has a sweet long jacket and cool spiky hair. Add one ghetto-blaster playing Peter Gabriel, and Ione Skye is putty in his hands.

Fight Club – it’s great fun, and more than a little frightening, watching Brad Pitt as the hyper-masculinized Tyler Durden. And while the film is at heart really a satire of his almost fascist behaviour, you can’t help but go along for the ride. “How much can you know about yourself, if you’ve never been in a fight?”

Rodger Dodger – little known indie film about a brilliant but twisted New York advertising guy who spends a night teaching his sensitive 16 year old nephew about picking up women. Here you’ll learn what works, but you’ll also see that what works is not always what you want.

Out of Sight – George Clooney as a bank robber who is pretty much a constant screw-up, and yet his suave and tender charms work their way into Jennifer Lopez’s heart. And she’s a Federal Marshal. Clooney is officially the coolest guy on Earth – you could do worse than to emulate his every move.

Swingers – this is an obvious one, but now that it’s over ten years old we can look back and see what it says about men is still valuable. Vince Vaughn’s pep-talk (something to do with bears and bunnies) is something to be memorized for every time you feel unable to make a “move”.

Blast From the Past – don’t groan. This tale of a 50’s era guy released upon the cynical reality of 90’s Los Angeles is surprisingly good stuff. Brendan Fraser’s Adam is a dork, no question, but his genuine care for Alicia Silverstone’s Eve shows that you don’t have to be mean to get the girl.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off/Cool Hand Luke – a great double bill. Two guys, both smart, charming, funny, and principled in their own ways. One has his entire life (and Mia Sara) ahead of him, the other is trapped and maybe even doomed. It’s the way that they make the best of their situations that makes them great men.

Of course, these are just movies. They aren’t real. You can learn from them, but eventually everything is up to you. Make your own life a movie.

Action!.